Boy, I wonder!

I’ve been mulling over a blog entry at Alex in Wonder Land concerning the lack of a Wonder Boy in the DC universe. There are no males in Wonder Woman’s clan of characters, and I think that is something that should be rectified. After all, both Batman and Superman have pupils of the opposite gender, so why not Wonder Woman?

However, how would one go about establishing such a character? I’m certainly not an expert on Wonder Woman’s history, but I have an idea. Those of you who are fond of ancient Greek myths as I am will know that it has been repeatedly stated that the Greek gods were fond of dining with Ethiopians. And where did they dine, you ask? In a grand temple dubbed Ialu built within the heart of the ancient city of Haran, of course! However, the Ialu temple has been sealed for thousands of years and the surrounding city has long been reduced to dust. The gods that once frolicked there on sweltering summer evenings have since abandoned the Haranians in particular and humanity in general. Or so the world thought.

At a summit involving a treaty to be signed by Hippolyta and the President of the United States, an old sorcerer barrels through dozens of Secret Service agents and demands to speak with the Amazonian representatives in private. To the objections of everyone in attendance, Hippolyta agrees to his request. The sorcerer tells the Amazons that the city of Haran has not been reduced to rubble, but has been hidden from the rest of the world by magic. Though the gods no longer dine there, the city’s residents have remained to wait for their return and have lived eons past their natural lifetimes by dining on a never-ending platter of ambrosia.

Though the gods have not returned, other entities have arrived in their place. Unnamed beasts have entered the portal through which the gods once arrived. They terrorize the denizens of Haran. The sorcerer begs the Amazons, the world’s last known link to the Greek gods, to save the city. Hippolyta’s advisors object, but the queen overrules them. She gathers a party to investigate the menace. Diana and Donna accompany her. Cassie is furious when she is told to stay behind. She decides to follow anyway—after packing a few items from her mother’s closet.

The Amazons and the sorcerer manage to fight the beasts back to the portal they arrived from. However, until the portal is sealed, the city remains in danger. Hippolyta and the sorcerer agree to step through the portal and kill the remaining beasts—and find themselves in Tartarus face to face with a “zombified” Hercules.

Hippolyta discovers that the beasts are actually the pups of Cerberus and were spawned to dine on the flesh of Hercules for all eternity due to his transgressions against Artemis. However, Hercules managed to steal a fraction of Circe’s power to control animals before his demise. He used that power to send the beasts out into the mortal world to take vengeance upon humanity.

Hippolyta, Hercules, and the sorcerer do battle until Hades arrives. The god of the dead is furious that (1) Hercules has escaped his punishment, (2) mortals have entered Tartarus, and (3) his beloved pups have been slain. The god of the dead angrily sets out to “unmake” the trio.

Diana, Donna, and a newly arrived Cassie cross the portal to defend the queen. Cassie launches a fertility talisman created by Hera at the god to momentarily halt his assault. Diana wraps her lasso around her mother and the sorcerer and drags them back into the mortal world. Donna and Cassie quickly follow on her heels. And a hand forcefully grabs onto Donna’s cloak as the portal seals behind them. Donna and Cassie whip around to face Hercules’ attack only to stare into the face of an unknown man-child and a small pup seated at his heels.

Diana quickly takes stock of the situation. Hippolyta is missing both of her legs. The sorcerer is dead and has no eyes or hands. Half of the decomposing body of Hercules rests in the corner. And before them is a large caramel-colored youth, a mass of black curls covering half his face, and a young pup circling his feet and yipping happily.

Hera’s fertility statue and the soul of the sorcerer gave life to the blood and sinew stolen from the trio. Standing before the Amazons is the son of all three warriors.

Now what shall they do with him? They all watch in shock as the youth weeps over the body of the sorcerer and lovingly calls him grandfather. After mourning for a time, he digs the old magician a grave while the pup happily feasts on the remains of Hercules. The Haranians whisper that he is an abomination; the Amazons do as well. They plead with Hippolyta to have him killed. Diana objects.

Hippolyta agrees that his life should be spared, but she cannot bear to look upon him. He has cost her the use of her legs. He is wearing her face. He is the spawn of the man who raped her. The queen and her Amazons depart for Themiscyra. They take the ambrosia with them. The Haranians are furious. They stone the youth. Diana intercedes.

Donna demands that the boy accompanies them back to the states. Cassie agrees. Diana reluctantly acquiesces. The first stop? JLA Headquarters. Diana, Bruce, and Clark struggle to decide what to do with the youth. Where can they place him? Clark, the eternal Boy Scout, offers his parents’ place as a residence.

Clark’s parents are kind and loving to the boy, but the two quickly learn that a tiny town in the heartland is not so heart-warming to a teen with a complexion darker than those of the Smallville residents and a thick accent that is strange to them. Jonathan finds the young boy strung up in the cornfield late one night with a sign stating GO HOME stuck to his chest. As Jonathan helps the youth down he questions the boy. Why didn’t he fight back as strong as he was? Why didn’t he come home? The young boy looks at Jonathan with tears in his eyes.

I am an abomination. I have no home.

When Donna Troy discovers what has happened, she is horrified. After soundly reprimanding her sister, she decides to establish a home for the young boy. She pressures Bruce to provide him with an identity and quickly enrolls him in a university. Donna pools her resources to purchase an apartment for the young man to reside in, and then cheerfully demands that the boy work in the bookstore of an Ethiopian antiquities dealer in order to earn his keep.

In a diverse city, the young boy flourishes. He weeps with joy the first time Donna refers to him as her brother. His heart swells with pride as his boss slowly warms to him. Of course, things are not perfect for the young man. He has a hound of hell that routinely demolishes his furniture. Donna and Cassie routinely refuse to respect his privacy. His mother refuses to acknowledge his presence. Diana has yet to warm to him. He is still not at home in his body and often does not realize his own strength. And his grandfather sends him visions of future events in his dreams—events that he must stop no matter how much Donna and Diana want to keep him out of the family business.

Well, crap. Now I want to write a Wonder Boy series. Also, I made Haran up so y’all don’t have to email me to tell me the city doesn’t exist!